40Gal Bucket List

A list of life's 'to-do's' before turning 50 … our journey of gettin' stuff done

Archive for the tag “marriage”

Happiness Project: February Review

February has ended and it time to review how I did with Month 2 of My Happiness Project. Let’s see:

  1. Say Hello & Goodbye with the 6 sec Hug: Our daily hello and goodbye always included us standing together where we hugged and kissed.  It made these  moments very special and after only a few days this challenge because a habit – I think because it made me feel so good. This new habit has made a difference and even set a positive, happy tone for the day for me and in the evening for both of us.
  2. Share Gratitude: I have really enjoyed this challenge and have enjoyed even more reading back on what about my husband and marriage I am grateful for.  From entries such as “the way he holds my hand”, to “I love his bald head” make me smile.  I will continue this  so every time my husband does something small or big that makes him light up even more in my eyes, I will document it.  By focusing on what he does      that makes me grateful versus what he does to really tick me off has really made me happier.
  3. No TV in the Bedroom: This one was a little more difficult since we often have dates in bed watching      movies or our favorite TV shows.  So admittedly the TV did stay on a few times, but for the most part, it was off  ;-).
  4. Walk and Fall in Love: This past month we have been out and about a lot more often and was able to “walk and talk” and really enjoy ourselves, and we did walk about our neighborhood a few times which was nice. I think once Spring truly  springs well continue walking and chatting and connecting.
  5. Be Present: I believe I was much better as putting away the phone and being present when my husband  and I were together but it was tough. Often I put my phone away out of reach, but I did find myself a few times (maybe a few times too many) announcing when I was jumping on the phone as if I was asking permission – and I’m not sure if I was seeking permission from my husband or myself.  I think this will continue to be a challenge, but I will continue to work on being present.

Overall, I think my February focus on Love and Marriage really benefitted me and our marriage, and I can honestly say I am happy in my marriage.  There is an old saying: “Happy Wife = Happy Life” but it’s always the husband saying it which puts the burden on him.  I challenge all wives to take control of their own happiness.  It will benefit you, your husband and your marriage.

 

happy-wife-happy-life-t-shirt_design

February: Love & Marriage

love and marriage

With Valentine’s Day 2 weeks away, February is the perfect month to focus on love and marriage.  I feel very lucky and blessed as my marriage is strong and healthy, but of course, like all couples, we have our challenges.  And after 2 ½ years of marriage, we are drawing near to the time when we could start taking each other for granted.  I don’t think we are there just yet and I hope this month’s Happiness Project of focusing on Love & Marriage will help us maintain our strong bond.

So this month I have decided to focus on 5 Daily Goals:

  1. Say Hello & Goodbye with the 6 sec Hug: This one is so simple and from what I read it can really make a difference in any relationship. My husband is the love of my life and I am genuinely happy when he gets home and a little sad when he leaves, so why don’t I greet him and send him off to tackle his day with a big hug and kiss to let him know how I feel?  It would make him feel happy, and I bet it will make me feel happy too.  Oh and the 6 sec hug?  “It’s the minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding.” This I learned from The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.
  2. Share Gratitude: Remembering daily what you are grateful for is definitly a key to happiness.  I have started my very own Gratitude journal/app so I can remind myself of the sunsets, snow days and kind strangers that made my day special, but what about reminding myself daily what I am grateful for in my marriage? What impact would this have my relationship and on my happiness?
  3. No TV in the Bedroom: TV in the bedroom means no intimacy. TV must be turned off.
  4. Walk and Fall in Love:  When my husband and I were ‘courting’ we would walk and talk for hours, it was during these walks that I fell in love with my him.  That is how we got to really know each other and I really enjoyed that one-on-one time; I know he enjoyed it too. Long walks to nowhere is a bit more difficult now in Austin rather than back in NYC, but we do have a neighborhood behind us that we can stroll in the evenings   at least once a week.  I hope my husband is up for the walk!
  5. Be Present:  I learned from reading The Happiness Project that men and women view intimacy differently.  “Women’s idea of an intimate moment is a face-to-face conversation, while men feel close when they work or play sitting alongside someone.” Hummm, well this could explains why my husband will often give me a look, or ask if something is wrong when I am on my phone at the same time we are watching a TV show together. He views this time together as intimacy, where I feel like it is just watching TV.  Ah!Ha! So when we sit together and watch Ghost Adventures or The Daily Show this is quality time.  I need to respect these moments, put the phone away and be present.

I am ready for February to focus on my marriage and my husband.  Let the lovin’ begin!

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